When you are in school all you do is hang out with friends. And then something happens (
cough, adulthood,
cough) and you rarely see them anymore; sadly it seems it all becomes just fond memories.
I had dinner with two of my very best friends, C and L, recently. Both are moms. It was quickly pointed out that my high wedges, manicured fingers and toes and recently cut and colored hair indicated that I, clearly, am not.
We sit. And the conversation goes like this:
L: "Sorry I'm late. I've been potty training all week and I needed to do a little clean up before I left."
C: "Have you tried letting her run around naked? The summer months are perfect for that - especially if you give her a bath first."
L: "She has on a t-shirt and underwear. She's getting better, but it's exhausting."
This continues for, no lying, a full five minutes before we have even looked at our menus. I feel like I'm watching a tennis match, my head turning back and forth, and me having absolutely nothing to contribute to this "Mom Talk."
And then...
C: "I know you are going to tell me I'm overreacting, but..."
gasp,
sigh,
hands thrown into the air in disbelief , "my daughter doesn't like to read."
I put my water glass down and roll my eyes.
"She's five. You're being ridiculous," I say nonchalantly.
C presses hard on the table and leans forward with serious intentions of getting through to us because we clearly do not understand the bomb that she has just dropped.
"No, really. She is always great at everything and then when it comes to reading and she comes to a word she doesn't know she gets frustrated and shuts down. She doesn't like it!"
I can feel that C is about to go into a pure panic-attack as her truly brilliant daughter is now destined to be an illiterate for life even before she steps foot into her kindergarten classroom.
"Give her a lower level book that she
can read successfully," I reply.
C takes in and holds a deep breath, her panic not subsiding. "But I gave her Level 1s!"
I roll my eyes at my beloved bestie again. "It can even be baby books or board books. Anything that you know she'll be able to read successfully to build up her confidence. Have her read it to a younger child so she doesn't think she is reading babish. "
And then C exhales slowly, relieved and reassured. "Oh. Never thought about that."
Parents, do not panic. Reading is a developmental skill that, like everything else, needs to be practiced and taught. Here are a few tips to help create that feeling of success for your child:
1. Model reading. Read more difficult children books to your child with him/her following along. Read with feeling, tone and inflection. Stop and take a breath at periods. Raise your voice when reading question sentences. Create voices for the different characters so your child begins to visualize the events of the story and recognize use of dialogue in text.
2. Reread the same books. It's okay if your child memorizes the words on the page. When he sees the word "crocodile" again in another text, he may recognize it (and if not, that is still okay).
3. Do shared reading. Once your child becomes familiar with the text of certain books, take turns reading lines. Maybe Mommy reads one page and Jessie reads the next. Feel it out and trust your instincts.
4. Let your child struggle a bit with more difficult words. This is true in life and something children need to experience and, more importantly, learn to deal with and conquer. When your child comes to a word he doesn't know, give him time to use his reading skills to figure it out (he can use context clues, illustrations, and sound relationships). We call this
wait time and, yes, it can be difficult for us to do as adults. Give him about ten seconds to struggle. If he still can't figure it out, guide him along.
5. For independent reading, make sure your child can read the majority of the words on the page by themselves, unassisted, without your help. There is a rule called the "Five Finger Test" that I teach my students. Open to the middle of the book and choose the page that has more words. Have your child read it out loud. Anytime he comes to a word that he doesn't know or guesses at, have him put up a finger. If by the end of the page he has up 5 or more fingers, the text of the book is too difficult for him to read
independently and will ultimately lead to frustration. Suggest reading it to him or read it as a shared reading instead.
These same rules still apply for younger readers but you also need to teach
conventions of text to these emerging readers. Who-What? That means the things you automatically take for granted when you read like:
- the proper way to hold the book and turn the pages
- previewing the book first by looking at the title and cover
- reading the left page first then the right
- reading from left to right (subsequently, many parents of younger readers always panic when their child reads or writes backwards from right to left. A simple solution is to put a green line or stickers on the left side of the page as a starting line to train the developing reader's eyes to start at the left).
These are, again, skills that need to be modeled and taught by you. Don't just expect success, help to create it.
If you have any questions that you would like to ask me, please feel free to post them in the comments. I will be happy to answer you in the comment thread.
